"It's Just Anxiety": A Reflection on Medical Dismissal for Women
- Connor Morris
- Oct 6
- 5 min read
In 2018 I started to feel unwell. Strange pains, upset stomach, fatigue. I, of course, went to see a doctor. The doctor wasn’t too concerned and at the time neither was I and so I decided to wait it out, it was likely just a bug after all. Long story short, as the discomfort continued and increased I kept following up with medical practitioners.
The answer was the same from the many doctors I saw. It’s just anxiety.
Try mindfulness, try cold-dipping, just breathe.
I remember thinking to myself, well of course I’m anxious? I feel unwell every day and it’s scary.
As stranger symptoms developed and more testing, scans, exams, etc. were done with the results of “everything's normal” coming back to me, I was really starting to feel anxious, angry, confused and hopeless.
How could I feel so sick, yet be okay? And why does everyone think this is mental health related? Maybe it really is anxiety? Could this be my fault? Should I even bother going back to the doctor if that’s all they are telling me?
A year and a half later of dealing with mystery symptoms I finally found a practitioner who helped me to find an answer. I simply had developed a severe gluten allergy and carried the gene for celiac disease. I finally started to come back to myself after I stopped eating gluten.
Here is why I am telling this story. The worst part about this experience wasn’t the uncertainty, it wasn’t the pain (which yes, SUCKED), but it was this feeling that I wasn’t being believed. That I was told it was in my head before I was told to look at my diet.
Here’s the thing, I get diagnosing isn’t a simple process and nothing was showing up on the tests. But it felt scary being the only one advocating for me.
I reflected my experience to other women that I knew, only to find that they have had very similar experiences. Feeling dismissed by a health care practitioner, only for the doctor to tell them that they are depressed or anxious. My thought goes to, well of course you’re feeling depressed and anxious, you feel like crap.
This isn’t something new that women have had to experience. Women haven’t been getting their needs met in the medical system for a long time and the medical system that we have set up today, well it is designed for men.
The vast majority of medical research and clinical trials for medications and diagnosing is done on men. Even for female dominated illness such as autoimmune diseases, which 80% of those diagnosed are women, these studies and clinical trials are done on men.
All of this to say, is that the system isn’t set up for women. This means that women have to experience longer periods of times before being diagnosed, are more often misdiagnosed, may not be getting the right treatment and somehow in the year of 2025 are still being told that it’s their emotions that are making them feel so icky.
Seriously? We’re still doing this?
This is outlined incredibly and infuriatingly in the amazing book Invisible Women: Data Bias In a World Designed for Men by Caroline Criado Perez.
When women are bringing their concerns to health care practitioners, they are getting dismissed with a label of anxiety or other mental health struggles. As a therapist, I am very aware that mental health care shares a role in our physical health, but it’s concerning when this inhibits further investigation of other possible issues.
This dismissal can cause confusion, anger, more anxiety and more feelings of depression and hopelessness.
So why is this still happening? Some of this may happen because of biases that are still carried about women. If we think about it historically, hysteria was a medical diagnosis given to women who experienced essentially any emotion that was deemed “inappropriate’ for a women at the time. While this isn’t a diagnosis still currently used, there still are biases, whether we are aware of them or not about women being irrational.
We of course have to consider other issues such as our medical systems are overwhelmed and so this doesn’t always allow for deep investigation. As well, many health symptoms mimic physical anxiety related symptoms. But this is why it is SO important to include women in medical research so we can start to diagnose properly.
I’m not a doctor, I am not someone who has medical experience. But my personal experience and the work that I do makes me feel very strongly about this issue.
This is why I have turned to working with women who are struggling with chronic illness, health anxiety, or struggling to get answers from the doctor. The anxiety, fear and anger that comes with gaslighting and dismissal can feel hard to manage on top of the pain and discomfort that you may be feeling.
Here are some things you might explore with your therapist:
-Mistrust of the medical system
-Mistrust of your instincts (being told you’re fine, when you believe you're not)
-Increased anxiety, particularly health anxiety
-Feelings of hopelessness
-Feelings of anger towards the medical system and your body
-Exploring relationships and other areas of support
-Navigating identity with illness
-Medical trauma (excessive testing, uncertainty, surgeries)
-Stress caused by not being believed, taken seriously, etc.
These are a few examples of what might come up for you when dealing with health struggles and navigating the medical system.
Building a supportive system Keeping a supportive system of people and resources in your life can go a long way. I found that speaking with family and friends, who I knew didn't have the answers, but listened and believed me helped tremendously.
- Keep supportive people/animals around you
- Continue to advocate for yourself and trust your instincts
- Keep easy, accessible activities nearby when you need a mental break
- Look for online support groups, connect with others who may be experiencing the same thing.
If you can relate to any of the above, I'm sorry that you're dealing with this right now. I hope to one day see health care that is accessible and makes sense for everyone. Continue to advocate for yourself, build that network of people who are on your side and know that there people out there working towards change.
If you're interested in working together please feel free to reach out. I work virtually across Canada with my home base in Nelson, BC (In-Person sessions may be available in this area, please reach out for more info)
Mindfulness Art Activity For Stress Relief
Here is a simple art activity that you can do right where you are sitting.
Materials:
Paper and some kind of drawing material
Drawing Your Breath
Take your drawing material of choice and place it onto the piece of paper making a mark.
Bring your attention to your breath
Move your drawing material up when you inhale and down when you exhale
Start to move this across the page in any direction purposely moving it slowly to match a relaxed, controlled breath
When you're finished, decorate it in any way you'd like.
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